Who Do You Think You Are?
Do you remember the first
time you heard that question? Most likely, we were young, and that question was meant to stop us in our
tracks like the ping of a stone flung from a slingshot. How dare you speak your
mind! How dare you be so big, so bold, so uninhibited! It was meant as a
rebuke or a correction.
Usually the scolding came
from someone we respected—a trusted friend, a sibling, a parent, a teacher. And
that someone had decided we needed some sort of intervention. However, had we really crossed the line? Or was our
light simply shining bright at that moment? Deciphering the difference is so
important.
Our sense of worthiness is
learned early in life. During childhood, our individuality, that which makes us
unique, is all too often discouraged. If we were made to feel self-conscious
about our opinions, our thoughts, our dreams, we can develop a sense of shame
that makes it difficult for us to see our true selves.
A healthy sense of worthiness
allows us to shine; it also helps us to attract and choose good things for
ourselves: healthy habits, love, happiness, wonderful relationships. When we
feel worthy, outside opinions matter much less and we have a greater possibility
of living joyful and enthusiastic lives.
If we’re not careful, we can
wear a sense of shame like a wool coat. Slipping out of that heaviness can take
a bit of discipline, but it can be
done. Here are a few ways we can start to shed the shame and feel more
deserving.
·
Quell that
critical inner voice. Weather that harsh inner coach was developed through a painful
childhood or the condemning attitudes of others, we must begin to tame our
thoughts and stop judging ourselves if we want to feel worthy of happiness.
·
Acknowledge your
suffering and the suffering of others. Developing a sense of compassion is crucial.
·
Be kind in response
to your own suffering and the suffering of others. Kindness is also an
important aspect of a healthy sense of worthiness.
·
Realize that
imperfection is part of everyday life and something all humans share.
Help me add to this list.
What other ways can we develop a healthy sense of self-worth? Note your answers in the comment section below.
1 comment:
Dear Ms. Fasano, I am currently writing a talk about bullying that will be given in a church setting. It will be for young women, their mom's and grandmom's. I would love to use part of your post. Of course I will quote your name to give you credit. I will not do so unless you give me permission. You can reach me at lovethatcj@gmail.com or at my blog http://driftinganchorranch@blogspot.com
Do not be confused by the fact that my name is Caroljoy Smith, my pen name is Vivian Varlowe. There are far too many writers by the name of Carol Smith, even Carol Joy Smith is used, and CJ Smith, way, way too many. So I use the pen name my beloved Mom wanted to use. I believe that her passion for reading and writing lives on in me, and she gave me permission to use her chosen pen name.
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